Claudia Moscovici 
Benjamin Constant’s Adolphe
Fascination with Evil: Addiction to a Psychopath
One of the main reasons why some women knowingly choose to stay with dangerous men that I haven’t yet discussed in greater detail is a perverse attraction to evil. Many of us are fascinated with evil, primarily because it’s caused by human beings who are fundamentally different from the rest of us. Just as it’s impossible for psychopaths to relate to what’s good about human nature—they see conscience, empathy and love it as weaknesses—it’s almost as difficult for most people to understand what motivates psychopaths to harm others. The film The Dark Knight was a box office hit largely due to the popularity of the evil character. The Joker kills not in order to become richer, as do the other outlaws in the movie, but solely for the sport of it. His characterization as a psychopath is plausible: except perhaps for the unfortunate fact that most psychopaths are much harder to identify. They usually don’t look as repulsive and don’t act as obviously crazy as the Joker does. Similarly, Dracula novels remain international best sellers for a similar reason. In spite of ourselves, we’re drawn to human vampires who feed upon our lives, to weaken and destroy us. Even crime shows that feature psychopaths are very popular. Evil individuals also tend to monopolize the personal interest and crime stories featured on the news.
Because most of us are capable of empathy and love, and thus can’t identify with those who completely lack these capacities, we imagine evil people to be far more complex and intriguing than they actually are. We may be initially mystified by the contradiction between a psychopath’s apparent charm and his underlying ruthlessness. But once we realize that the charm of evil people is purely instrumental, to get them whatever they want at the moment, this contradiction is resolved and ceases to intrigue us. In reality, normal people are far more interesting and less predictable than psychopaths. The depth and range of our emotions complicates, nuances and curbs our selfish impulses and desires. For psychopaths, however, nothing stands in the way of their absolute selfishness. Each and every one of their actions, including seemingly other-regarding acts, can be plausibly explained in terms of their quest for dominance.
Evil men may appear to be masculine, self-confident and in charge. They seem to know what they want from life and how to get it. Keep in mind, however, that it’s so much easier to know what you want when you’re considering only your own desires and are willing to sacrifice everyone and everything to satisfy them. Even animals manifest deeper emotions. They care about their young and bond with others. Psychopaths don’t. If decent men sometimes hesitate, it’s because they’re more thoughtful and other-regarding. They put other people’s needs into the equation before reaching a decision. Thus, paradoxically, it’s only because of their deficiencies and simplicity with respect to normal, more multidimensional, human beings that we consider evil individuals our “Others” and are intrigued by them.
This perverse logic applies all the more to the women who choose to stay with dangerous men. Although they’re repeatedly traumatized by their disordered partners, they must also, on some level, enjoy the challenge of “taming” a bad man. They may be hooked on the constant manipulation, second-guessing and other kind of mind games in which psychopaths engage on a daily basis. Many also become love addicts. After living with a psychopath for years, where every exchange is strategic and where each day brings on a new power struggle, such women may have grown so used to playing mind games that they may be bored by decent men. They may not know how to appreciate men they could trust, who would love them deeply and who would stand by them in difficult times. Such “normal” men are far more interesting than the one-dimensional and irredeemably selfish psychopaths. Living with them, however, doesn’t present the insurmountable challenges that living with a psychopath does.
If you’re drawn, in spite of your better judgment, to constant risk, to danger, to living on the edge in the fear that you’ll be left or replaced at any moment, to histrionic shows of emotion rather than genuine feelings, to second-guessing manipulation and lies rather than honest and straightforward communication, to hide-and-seek games rather than mutual trust, then that may mean that you’re too fascinated with evil to escape your addiction to the psychopath. In my opinion, it’s best to leave these human monsters for the movies and fiction while enjoying your real life with a partner who loves you and who treats you right.
Dangerous Liaisons/Legături Periculoase, Editura Vremea, http://www.edituravremea.ro/leg–turi-periculoase–cum-s–recuno–ti-un-psihopat–i-s–scapi-din-mrejele-lui
(sursa foto: rte.ie/brainstorm/2017/1123/922299-more-evil/)
